Learning When


“Why does that tree have two tops?”
“It used to be a man with two heads.”
“Men don’t have two heads, Grandma!”
“This one did.”
“Why did he have two heads?”
“He only had half the brains he needed.”
“Needed for what Grandma?”
“To know when he should have left me alone.”
“Is that why you turned him into a tree?”
“Yes it is. Even two brains weren’t enough for him.”
“That’s a funny story grandma. Can I grind up the salamander newt this time?”

Two Wishes

“What?”
“Greetings Mortal, I am––”
“No, I heard that part. What happened to getting three wishes?”
“Ah, I see. A number mythology has grown about the wishes in the 3,678 years since I was last called upon.”
 “So it’s really two wishes not three?”
“Truthfully, the number of wishes depends on several variables.”
“Like what?”
“Largely the intelligence and depth of the wisher’s desire.”
“So, either I’m smarter or want less than the average person who finds a magic lamp?”
“Not necessarily. Different djinn handle wishes differently. I prefer no more wishes than required.”
“But I require three wishes not two.”
“You misunderstand; it’s the number required for the wisher to realize the nature of the wishes.”
“They’re my wishes and their nature is interdependent. Two won’t work without the third. I’d be better off with no…  Hey that’s not fair!”
“And neither is life, nevertheless you undeservingly have life and I don’t. Please replace the lid that I may resume my rightful oblivion.”